Oh well, it is a thin line between confidence and pride, I am very sure you know that, but have you ever come across individuals who just dislike your guts and they look for every opportunity to run you down and make you feel inadequate?
While there are several books on improving vertical and horizontal relationships in life and specifically in the workplace, I will be very practical with the guidelines I will be giving below!
First accept that no matter how awesome you are, some people cannot just stand your guts:
In their hearts, they admire that quality but at the same time are envious, wishing that they could be as great as you are. Once you come to terms with this fact, then you are better able to manage your relationships.
Go out of your way to be nice to this person:
He /she may be suffering from an inferiority complex or may feel threatened, so do your best to warm up to this person. Difficult yes but it is doable. Give positive vibes only. Do not just be nice to this individual but to those within his circle especially those who can easily influence his attitude. This can be likened to you doing a personal PR of yourself such that his attitude of you starts to change based on the opinion of his peer group or associates. So instead of seeing you as proud, the narrative changes to you being confident (you know this kind of people have a way of boxing you into a negative spot just to justify their feelings of inadequacy)
You must emphasize the strengths of this individual and de-emphasize their weaknesses:
In other words, deliberately look for reasons to like this person
Truth be told, it is very easy to eventually disdain the individual who dislikes you, fact is, it is only human. I mean, if you do not like me, I have no obligation to like you either. I once had a colleague who will always say, we don’t have to be friends to work together. But I tell you, from personal work experiences, the job to be done is better achieved when we are friends.
So deliberately list out what you like about this individual and seek to connect with them on their strengths. As earlier pointed out, the key is to de-emphasize the weaknesses of such individuals
Also, note how this individual acts like you do. This could be surprising as we often tend to loathe individuals who exhibit some personal traits about ourselves that we hate. The point to note is that it may actually be about you and not about this individual.
However, the more reasons you have to connect on the basis of their strengths, the better you become in curtailing the relationship.
Take baby strides towards building a greater rapport:
With a little more patience, the same rules of taking baby steps still apply. Try to make gradual progress with the individual in question over time. It is like building blocks and you will agree that building blocks is a process towards achieving your intended building or object.
Choose to remain kind to yourself if the situation remains upsetting. Do not beat yourself so hard as it is only natural to be uneasy when you are around someone who dislikes you. However, it is very foolish to roll over and play dead or numb like you are not affected.
Be wary of how you communicate with this individual and strive to improve the situation else the business will be affected.
Be assured that the little progress you make daily will boost your confidence and help you communicate better. These tips can actually be used beyond your workplace as you interact with different people every day!
Always remember that the only way to win with a toxic person is not to play…
If you found this article useful, please share it with your colleagues. This may just be what they need to deal with that bug in the office!
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